So I got this letter 2day, damn the things she had 2 say. Fellas it's gonna get deep, Ladies this is 4 u peep.
Unfinished Business
See she started off by saying her name was Lisa and she needed 2 get some things off her brain. She had a relationship, though never intimate with a guy who never wanted the status 2 change. So like a female who knows how males do, she continued 2 play his game he put her threw. Hard thing was when she tried 2 get closure and talk it out, he did nothing but kick her out. He did like a dude and played like he had no emotions. They never became official - oh no he wasn't hearing that story. He denied they had history, never came clean with the truth. So out of spite, she went after another guy - shortly later that's when her love had died. The other guy she went with, did nothing 2 upgr8 her. Yea he said he loved her but yet did nothing 4 her.
Sometimes when you don't get closure from the past, it can come in bite you in the ass. See males don't understand the jealousy their insecurity brings. When they flaunt around with hoes, and u as a women been holding them down. They don't see how it affects a females esteem, a person can only handle so much b4 dark is what u see. The arguments start and then the resentment comes in. Females go thru the back n forth as they walk in n out that door. See guys have a tricky way of getting you 2 stay. Even when ur drained and have no more 2 give.
Lisa went on and told me, about how she always turned down the right men, n fell for the wrong guys. A night of despite, got her stuck with a toxic guy. She never knew she'd lose herself n be by herself. She lost her friends, and the group she used 2 belong 2. No1 ever understands why a female stays - but yet guys do the same. No1 ever understands whose really 2 blame, but truth be known it's because one is not grown. When you enter a relationship with anybody, you trust the words they say about their unknown past. The things 1 went threw 2 get 2 where they are 2day. The childhood 1 grew up in has an effect on the brain. I personally know every girl has been thru the same thing.
Ladies the 1st time you find out dude is a liar- be gone! I know the homie/lova/friend relationship is easy 2 get in 2- but ladies it'll kill you. He's enjoying his cake plus the friend status will never change. If he's a man he'll make you understand why you can't be friends. See ladies if you with dude for more then 6 months, n he still don't wanna step up - step out!!!! It's easy 2 get caught up with the bull shit, but ladies get a grip. If he's a man then he'll be proud 2 hold ur hand. If he's a man he will only be with you. If he's a man there's no question of him being true. If he's a man he's gonna wipe your tears and see you threw. If love is true then it's pure. If love is real both will close the deal. No waiting in line wondering, if your wasting your time. No fighting back and forth about all the whores. No missing kisses cos your his Mrs.'s. No1's hiding behind closed doors, theres no secrets between you 2.
See Lisa went on about this guy she missed and the guy she got stuck with. She said she did time 4 a crime of passion, and that he sr8 left her blind. She never got 2 say goodbye 2 dude, and that was the real reason she went threw her seasons. She just wanted truth of what 2 do. How could he leave her so blue? He knew the pain caused but yet couldn't pick up the phone n call. Had the nerve 2 pretend it was never real. Quickly her life became unreal. The dude she got with tore her esteem, did plenty of things that was awful and mean. When she tried 2 get away she had 2 become unseen, like literally go away. It's not cute when your hometown is where he resides. It's not fun, when you can't go out n hang with your girls no more. You have less 2 say when he won't go away. Or when ur Super Man is locked away. When you can't even be intimate, because some1's 4 ever paying 4 the mistakes he's made. You just turn inside and go hide, so no1 will ever feel your pain. The make-up of a smile the world don't care about you, now can you see the changing faces women go threw? When sex is his only drug, that he knows will keep you. Or when 1 man has your heart, another has your mind and some1 controls ur body.
I guess in a sense I can relate, I was once with somebody I loved 2 hate. I met him when I was 19 he was how I got my job courtside. He was known as a playa ,shit I was warned. From his ex, yea she was down in VIP, and his friends, I heard the stories. Took him over a year 2 get a date with me damn I was focused on top of my game. I knew better then 2 mix business. Well some how some way he got his way, had 2 give him credit a year, and your still trying kid. He was 12 years older at the time he said he was 26....... What I tell u about the 1st lie ladies!!! Well I was so innocent raised in the suburbs with good healthy people. I wasn't used 2 worms, plus after 13 years my mom grows balls and kicks my cheating step dad out. So maybe it was I was young, no dad, mom always working and I was hanging with NBA players???? Plus I was making money and going 2 school damn looking back I was a sr8 fool. I fell 4 his lies, cried the pain n went threw his rain. God knows what I went threw, thank you for pulling me threw. Didn't realize he was toxic and could ruin me, I became a statistic the 1 thing I was so proud not 2 be. His sex was my drug, the way he was so wild n carefree, I was always reserved & timid. Honestly I couldn't tell you what I was on? We was back & forth, on and off. I walked in n out, up and down. I remember the nights he tried 2 kill me. As tears came down all I could say was tell my brother I love him, as I would look him dead in his face. If his hands were gonna be the end 2 me, well I was just gonna let it be. I remember the out of town visits I would drive over 15 hours away. Just 2 have me pinned down and him choking the shit out of me. People, toxic people need no chemicals, nor liquor they are whack enough. (FYI) As I kicked him in his nuts, stole his phone n stormed out the hotel. I remember calling my best friend Angel lol 15 hours away and she 2 was ready 2 come get me. As I sat by the highway crying my story 2 her, she calmed me down with her words. She was always my number 1 fan my biggest supporter, man I don't think I ever told her out loud. I went back 2 the room 2 get my keys n things. He pulled me back just like that. Part 2 ladies know ur greatest weakness, mine is loyalty. I'd give him tickets 2 games n he'd sit right in my section, with what else is new I'm miss 22. Then not even answer his phone after I got off, like I said what was I on??
Little did I know Angel took it upon herself and called my BFF Adam, damn what a beating. Slowly they are the ones that got me away. It was a very slow process and none of us was seeing progress. The 1st incident happened 2 more different times. By then wanted a man but couldn't bring him threw my drama. I just really wanted 2 get away. I moved several times, even started seeing other dudes, but still couldn't get intimate with any dude. I'd come home alone to find him in closet's and bushes. I had 2 call Adam he was the ones that sent the police threw.
Finally 05 is when I broke away, sr8 put my stuff in storage and packed Leo and me up. We went to Las Vegas. I worked at H.O.B., best realism ever taught. Then 5 months I was done, no more. Moved 2 Cali, yippee. Was there for a month when, Thanksgiving I go spend it with Adam in AZ. Kept having dreams some1 was going 2 die, Angel's name kept coming out my mouth. I wish I woulda just called her, like I told myself but I kept putting it off. Kept saying Ill call her Monday Monday. I left Monday told myself as I was driving back call her when u get signal. Still didn't do it, 4am I get a call Angel was murdered. I called her mom 1st words out her mouth, " Angel's Fly 2gether" that was a clear sign. That night had a dream I got murdered, packed up n went back for the funeral. Everything they said went sr8 2 my heart, understand we were never apart. Told you she was my number 1 supporter. Come on we have the same 1st name. She was my G11, didn't know that back then, also didn't know I was her gold 2 protect. After that the world went dark and cold. Didn't have money for a shrink, so I enrolled in massage therapy. She came 2 me many dreams. I didn't respect the boyfriend and still strongly feel the same way. We never got 2 say out loud, what each other means. Stayed with Adams mom as she went threw a divorce and foreclosure cos he didn't want 2 help pay no more. School released me then I couldn't stay, I had 2 move. Went back 2 Phx 2 regroup, I needed a best friend but Adam refused 2 give that. Instead he gave me a detox that tasted like hell. It was the beginning 2 my fix. I was found again, had 2 say bye again. Left Adam a present as I enrolled in college, out in the LBC huh, got myself a degree! Man it was hard doing that time, had to sacrifice all of me. The greatest moments I've ever had, made possible because I followed God's plan. He read my pain, passion and story, he slowly upgraded me up.
Made dreams come true as long as I stayed true. The greatest achievements was accomplished because of helping hands. They believed and helped me grow, they helped this seed bloom. My dream's came true in the city of Angel's, I was becoming who I was meant 2 be. God give, god take it never question just go with it. I graduated then had 2 pack and leave. I had 2 pack up my life and head back 2 Denver. I came back in contact with my past, I wanted 2 make sure I never went back 2 that drug. I came across some1 I met back in 04. Funny thing he always reminded me of somebody it was that type feeling. Always acted different outside the bedroom, but inside damn he was a different energy. He gave me the dose of medicine, that I needed. He showed me the way down the yellow brick road, I always understood why he couldn't go. I just want to say Thank you for showing me the way back home, and helping me re discover my glow. I was the one lucky who found my gold. He didn't do it alone, but thank you god for giving me the courage 2 grow.
See I'm not the type 2 bash any male from my past. They served there purpose, all those lessons were learned. I've never been one 2 sleep around, but best believe I got around. 2 many try 2 catch me, but few understood me. Guess I was like Lisa's dude, Don't ever let me sleep with you, what ever I do. I've been sr8 with any question asked, can't wait 4 my 8. See I lived threw my friends and my 1st boyfriend who was 2 nice 4 me 2 claim, he was sweet. He let me be me, even picked me up from school n work. Cos he was a genuine guy. That's funny he was a virgin and wanted me 2 be his 1st, I never could do it how hard he'd try. He met a girl and I convinced him 2 see her, we cried so hard in my amigo that night. Then 4 years later she wants 2 get married and I tell him 2 do it. See the company I kept never had influence over me, I am and always was just Angel. You can say I was sheltered and aloud to dream. I went threw a good school system and had great teachers, plus had a stead living. Someone who got my key would be so very lucky.
My greatest weakness is also a great strength, loyalty can really get you in trouble. Know your polars and how 2 balance you, add Virgo 2 that OMG what a perfect lil bitch I can be. LOL LOL
Do you understand why I become exclusive when I dig somebody? LOL man 30 this year and still trying 2 perfect me. LOL I never got why people play games? Never understood beating around the bush. I'm very open about my life but hush when it comes 2 love. That's a Virgo thing we have 2 make sure there perfect. Trust me we can date some1 for years, but until we know... mum is the word. Maybe that's also a weakness about a Virgo, nobody tries 2 be as perfect as we do. Therefore people's words become untrue, that's why we are about action. Most don't know I'm a 50's kind of girl. Humble and love 2 bubble, I can be a smart ass but its only in fun. Plus I become Miss understood cos I let vents flow when I feel it. I love, love and only want 2 be pinned down by 1. In my family I was always the outcast, so I believe everyone deserves love.
See the moral of the story is not 2 make you look at me different or 2 get symphony. It's 2 make you look @ yourself and understand your make up. Change is a slow process but it is the only way 2 get past your situation. It was all the yes's that blessed me. The doors that never closed that saved me. It was god's word and direction, that gave me light 2 see. When you sacrifice yourself 2 save his own people, the glory you'll know. Because of him I got my love sent from above.
He's a man and took the time 2 understand me. He even let me use my own language to communicate with him. Like we in some kind of space ages. He stood by my side when I turned and walked out. Took my hand when I was unsure, continued 2 let me fly away. Kept his word, never flew with any other bird. He loved me unconditional, even threw me letting out my issue's and further more my history. He brought out my beauty, that was beneficial for us. When the contract was up he stayed loyal to his team. He makes my heart beat and brings my heat. Keeps me warm I know where he be. Checks in even when he ain't got time & busy on his tours. He was Angel's gift that came down from heaven. Made me believe in myself when I didn't have the time 2. He respects every ounce of me, when I feel emotions he never plans 2 bounce. Always the 1st working it out. No matter what he lets me say my piece, then brings the peace. What a man, what a man can't believe I found my heaven. He brings my protection any1 who steps gets corrected. I fell in love with my one from above. I can only thank a handful of people, but god this is special from you. So I thank you for the joy you brought my way. I promise to cater and keep this a union. We will live by your will. We'll Do Right And Kill Everything that is our mission, sir. I love him and mean it. Can't believe you blessed us with ur grace, gave a new chapter to my stories gave hope to the world. I'll be 4ever his girl and never leave him cold.
I'm sorry 2 the guys who got the axe understand I never meant 2 break a heart. I do apologise 2 yous. I as a person couldn't settle with just anybody - My baby lets me 2 continue to fly n that is why he became my somebody! Thanks for being a part of my life, but I'm ready 2 let him wife me. He found the key and unlocked all of me. He loves me 4 me and our love is all we need. Thank you god 4 sending him 2 me. I only wish everyone could experience the type of love he brings.
I Love You and Thank You, for allowing me 2 express this story......
Yours Truly,
Angel
Unfinished Business
See she started off by saying her name was Lisa and she needed 2 get some things off her brain. She had a relationship, though never intimate with a guy who never wanted the status 2 change. So like a female who knows how males do, she continued 2 play his game he put her threw. Hard thing was when she tried 2 get closure and talk it out, he did nothing but kick her out. He did like a dude and played like he had no emotions. They never became official - oh no he wasn't hearing that story. He denied they had history, never came clean with the truth. So out of spite, she went after another guy - shortly later that's when her love had died. The other guy she went with, did nothing 2 upgr8 her. Yea he said he loved her but yet did nothing 4 her.
Sometimes when you don't get closure from the past, it can come in bite you in the ass. See males don't understand the jealousy their insecurity brings. When they flaunt around with hoes, and u as a women been holding them down. They don't see how it affects a females esteem, a person can only handle so much b4 dark is what u see. The arguments start and then the resentment comes in. Females go thru the back n forth as they walk in n out that door. See guys have a tricky way of getting you 2 stay. Even when ur drained and have no more 2 give.
Lisa went on and told me, about how she always turned down the right men, n fell for the wrong guys. A night of despite, got her stuck with a toxic guy. She never knew she'd lose herself n be by herself. She lost her friends, and the group she used 2 belong 2. No1 ever understands why a female stays - but yet guys do the same. No1 ever understands whose really 2 blame, but truth be known it's because one is not grown. When you enter a relationship with anybody, you trust the words they say about their unknown past. The things 1 went threw 2 get 2 where they are 2day. The childhood 1 grew up in has an effect on the brain. I personally know every girl has been thru the same thing.
Ladies the 1st time you find out dude is a liar- be gone! I know the homie/lova/friend relationship is easy 2 get in 2- but ladies it'll kill you. He's enjoying his cake plus the friend status will never change. If he's a man he'll make you understand why you can't be friends. See ladies if you with dude for more then 6 months, n he still don't wanna step up - step out!!!! It's easy 2 get caught up with the bull shit, but ladies get a grip. If he's a man then he'll be proud 2 hold ur hand. If he's a man he will only be with you. If he's a man there's no question of him being true. If he's a man he's gonna wipe your tears and see you threw. If love is true then it's pure. If love is real both will close the deal. No waiting in line wondering, if your wasting your time. No fighting back and forth about all the whores. No missing kisses cos your his Mrs.'s. No1's hiding behind closed doors, theres no secrets between you 2.
See Lisa went on about this guy she missed and the guy she got stuck with. She said she did time 4 a crime of passion, and that he sr8 left her blind. She never got 2 say goodbye 2 dude, and that was the real reason she went threw her seasons. She just wanted truth of what 2 do. How could he leave her so blue? He knew the pain caused but yet couldn't pick up the phone n call. Had the nerve 2 pretend it was never real. Quickly her life became unreal. The dude she got with tore her esteem, did plenty of things that was awful and mean. When she tried 2 get away she had 2 become unseen, like literally go away. It's not cute when your hometown is where he resides. It's not fun, when you can't go out n hang with your girls no more. You have less 2 say when he won't go away. Or when ur Super Man is locked away. When you can't even be intimate, because some1's 4 ever paying 4 the mistakes he's made. You just turn inside and go hide, so no1 will ever feel your pain. The make-up of a smile the world don't care about you, now can you see the changing faces women go threw? When sex is his only drug, that he knows will keep you. Or when 1 man has your heart, another has your mind and some1 controls ur body.
I guess in a sense I can relate, I was once with somebody I loved 2 hate. I met him when I was 19 he was how I got my job courtside. He was known as a playa ,shit I was warned. From his ex, yea she was down in VIP, and his friends, I heard the stories. Took him over a year 2 get a date with me damn I was focused on top of my game. I knew better then 2 mix business. Well some how some way he got his way, had 2 give him credit a year, and your still trying kid. He was 12 years older at the time he said he was 26....... What I tell u about the 1st lie ladies!!! Well I was so innocent raised in the suburbs with good healthy people. I wasn't used 2 worms, plus after 13 years my mom grows balls and kicks my cheating step dad out. So maybe it was I was young, no dad, mom always working and I was hanging with NBA players???? Plus I was making money and going 2 school damn looking back I was a sr8 fool. I fell 4 his lies, cried the pain n went threw his rain. God knows what I went threw, thank you for pulling me threw. Didn't realize he was toxic and could ruin me, I became a statistic the 1 thing I was so proud not 2 be. His sex was my drug, the way he was so wild n carefree, I was always reserved & timid. Honestly I couldn't tell you what I was on? We was back & forth, on and off. I walked in n out, up and down. I remember the nights he tried 2 kill me. As tears came down all I could say was tell my brother I love him, as I would look him dead in his face. If his hands were gonna be the end 2 me, well I was just gonna let it be. I remember the out of town visits I would drive over 15 hours away. Just 2 have me pinned down and him choking the shit out of me. People, toxic people need no chemicals, nor liquor they are whack enough. (FYI) As I kicked him in his nuts, stole his phone n stormed out the hotel. I remember calling my best friend Angel lol 15 hours away and she 2 was ready 2 come get me. As I sat by the highway crying my story 2 her, she calmed me down with her words. She was always my number 1 fan my biggest supporter, man I don't think I ever told her out loud. I went back 2 the room 2 get my keys n things. He pulled me back just like that. Part 2 ladies know ur greatest weakness, mine is loyalty. I'd give him tickets 2 games n he'd sit right in my section, with what else is new I'm miss 22. Then not even answer his phone after I got off, like I said what was I on??
Little did I know Angel took it upon herself and called my BFF Adam, damn what a beating. Slowly they are the ones that got me away. It was a very slow process and none of us was seeing progress. The 1st incident happened 2 more different times. By then wanted a man but couldn't bring him threw my drama. I just really wanted 2 get away. I moved several times, even started seeing other dudes, but still couldn't get intimate with any dude. I'd come home alone to find him in closet's and bushes. I had 2 call Adam he was the ones that sent the police threw.
Finally 05 is when I broke away, sr8 put my stuff in storage and packed Leo and me up. We went to Las Vegas. I worked at H.O.B., best realism ever taught. Then 5 months I was done, no more. Moved 2 Cali, yippee. Was there for a month when, Thanksgiving I go spend it with Adam in AZ. Kept having dreams some1 was going 2 die, Angel's name kept coming out my mouth. I wish I woulda just called her, like I told myself but I kept putting it off. Kept saying Ill call her Monday Monday. I left Monday told myself as I was driving back call her when u get signal. Still didn't do it, 4am I get a call Angel was murdered. I called her mom 1st words out her mouth, " Angel's Fly 2gether" that was a clear sign. That night had a dream I got murdered, packed up n went back for the funeral. Everything they said went sr8 2 my heart, understand we were never apart. Told you she was my number 1 supporter. Come on we have the same 1st name. She was my G11, didn't know that back then, also didn't know I was her gold 2 protect. After that the world went dark and cold. Didn't have money for a shrink, so I enrolled in massage therapy. She came 2 me many dreams. I didn't respect the boyfriend and still strongly feel the same way. We never got 2 say out loud, what each other means. Stayed with Adams mom as she went threw a divorce and foreclosure cos he didn't want 2 help pay no more. School released me then I couldn't stay, I had 2 move. Went back 2 Phx 2 regroup, I needed a best friend but Adam refused 2 give that. Instead he gave me a detox that tasted like hell. It was the beginning 2 my fix. I was found again, had 2 say bye again. Left Adam a present as I enrolled in college, out in the LBC huh, got myself a degree! Man it was hard doing that time, had to sacrifice all of me. The greatest moments I've ever had, made possible because I followed God's plan. He read my pain, passion and story, he slowly upgraded me up.
Made dreams come true as long as I stayed true. The greatest achievements was accomplished because of helping hands. They believed and helped me grow, they helped this seed bloom. My dream's came true in the city of Angel's, I was becoming who I was meant 2 be. God give, god take it never question just go with it. I graduated then had 2 pack and leave. I had 2 pack up my life and head back 2 Denver. I came back in contact with my past, I wanted 2 make sure I never went back 2 that drug. I came across some1 I met back in 04. Funny thing he always reminded me of somebody it was that type feeling. Always acted different outside the bedroom, but inside damn he was a different energy. He gave me the dose of medicine, that I needed. He showed me the way down the yellow brick road, I always understood why he couldn't go. I just want to say Thank you for showing me the way back home, and helping me re discover my glow. I was the one lucky who found my gold. He didn't do it alone, but thank you god for giving me the courage 2 grow.
See I'm not the type 2 bash any male from my past. They served there purpose, all those lessons were learned. I've never been one 2 sleep around, but best believe I got around. 2 many try 2 catch me, but few understood me. Guess I was like Lisa's dude, Don't ever let me sleep with you, what ever I do. I've been sr8 with any question asked, can't wait 4 my 8. See I lived threw my friends and my 1st boyfriend who was 2 nice 4 me 2 claim, he was sweet. He let me be me, even picked me up from school n work. Cos he was a genuine guy. That's funny he was a virgin and wanted me 2 be his 1st, I never could do it how hard he'd try. He met a girl and I convinced him 2 see her, we cried so hard in my amigo that night. Then 4 years later she wants 2 get married and I tell him 2 do it. See the company I kept never had influence over me, I am and always was just Angel. You can say I was sheltered and aloud to dream. I went threw a good school system and had great teachers, plus had a stead living. Someone who got my key would be so very lucky.
My greatest weakness is also a great strength, loyalty can really get you in trouble. Know your polars and how 2 balance you, add Virgo 2 that OMG what a perfect lil bitch I can be. LOL LOL
Do you understand why I become exclusive when I dig somebody? LOL man 30 this year and still trying 2 perfect me. LOL I never got why people play games? Never understood beating around the bush. I'm very open about my life but hush when it comes 2 love. That's a Virgo thing we have 2 make sure there perfect. Trust me we can date some1 for years, but until we know... mum is the word. Maybe that's also a weakness about a Virgo, nobody tries 2 be as perfect as we do. Therefore people's words become untrue, that's why we are about action. Most don't know I'm a 50's kind of girl. Humble and love 2 bubble, I can be a smart ass but its only in fun. Plus I become Miss understood cos I let vents flow when I feel it. I love, love and only want 2 be pinned down by 1. In my family I was always the outcast, so I believe everyone deserves love.
See the moral of the story is not 2 make you look at me different or 2 get symphony. It's 2 make you look @ yourself and understand your make up. Change is a slow process but it is the only way 2 get past your situation. It was all the yes's that blessed me. The doors that never closed that saved me. It was god's word and direction, that gave me light 2 see. When you sacrifice yourself 2 save his own people, the glory you'll know. Because of him I got my love sent from above.
He's a man and took the time 2 understand me. He even let me use my own language to communicate with him. Like we in some kind of space ages. He stood by my side when I turned and walked out. Took my hand when I was unsure, continued 2 let me fly away. Kept his word, never flew with any other bird. He loved me unconditional, even threw me letting out my issue's and further more my history. He brought out my beauty, that was beneficial for us. When the contract was up he stayed loyal to his team. He makes my heart beat and brings my heat. Keeps me warm I know where he be. Checks in even when he ain't got time & busy on his tours. He was Angel's gift that came down from heaven. Made me believe in myself when I didn't have the time 2. He respects every ounce of me, when I feel emotions he never plans 2 bounce. Always the 1st working it out. No matter what he lets me say my piece, then brings the peace. What a man, what a man can't believe I found my heaven. He brings my protection any1 who steps gets corrected. I fell in love with my one from above. I can only thank a handful of people, but god this is special from you. So I thank you for the joy you brought my way. I promise to cater and keep this a union. We will live by your will. We'll Do Right And Kill Everything that is our mission, sir. I love him and mean it. Can't believe you blessed us with ur grace, gave a new chapter to my stories gave hope to the world. I'll be 4ever his girl and never leave him cold.
I'm sorry 2 the guys who got the axe understand I never meant 2 break a heart. I do apologise 2 yous. I as a person couldn't settle with just anybody - My baby lets me 2 continue to fly n that is why he became my somebody! Thanks for being a part of my life, but I'm ready 2 let him wife me. He found the key and unlocked all of me. He loves me 4 me and our love is all we need. Thank you god 4 sending him 2 me. I only wish everyone could experience the type of love he brings.
I Love You and Thank You, for allowing me 2 express this story......
Yours Truly,
Angel