2 day is my mother's bday and usually I'm not the type 2 share 2 much info on my family life, but 2day I'm gonna use my bday wish 4 my mommy. I'm also going to send a hello 2 my great gramma Mrs. Carmen Kain Sanchez, who died this day in 04'. Maybe me doing this will talk to both their souls and idk maybe help each other???
See I didn't know much of you gramma, being that u wanted nothing 2 do with my mother after my brother was born out of wedlock. You went against ur husbands death wishes and took my mom & uncle out of his will. Okay well I'm not here to judge you or tell you what a mistake you made because I'm sure grandpa Pete & God made sure to remind you. I'm also not here to tell you about the seeds U raised, in fact it was the best thing you coulda done disowning us, We were the 1s who were saved!!! Not gonna tell you what a horrible father your son was, and the damage he did to his son, and the damage he did 2 his daughter. I'm sure you see. What I'm going to tell you is its a shame how ur seeds ended up 2day. I'm going to tell you that my mom really thinks u truly hated her, coulda picked any day of the year... humm its hard not 2 question u here. I will tell you that the only gramma I've ever known is lost somewhere, in fact mom is sure 2 mention how just like you she's become more hateful this year. I'll also tell you that since 05 when ur son died my real family has disappeared. See they used 2 know smiles, laughter, unconditional love but I cant find that here.
See when I was 2 months from graduation ,1000 miles away, is when my mom told me she was losing her house. So when I got done with school, I left my life behind, I couldn't leave mom by herself. See she worked so hard 2 own a home, kept a roof over her kids and gave us unconditional love. Sept 08 was the hardest time, lil by lil I started losing my mom. I had to become some1 I wasn't because my mom just gave up. Not saying that the dude she was with is bad, but really nothing good has come from it. Seems he kinda liked her losing her house in Jan of 09, she was forced 2 actually live with a man... wait it gets better on Jan 3rd she went back 2 work and they said they needed 2 let her go. Damn my mom lost her soul. My brother moved with his girlfriend and well I just went on my road because nothing was gonna let me leave my mama alone. Took me some painful trails, but no I was not leaving her alone. I took the pain, I took the rain, I carried our name. I still remember visiting my mom one day and wanting 2 kill myself, I seen and felt the evil that surrounded her. I wasn't strong enuff 2 enter that house n save her then, but no I never left her. They found a way 2 take her cars, cards, and the 700 plus credit away.... Then she finds out her baby was having a baby. OMG
Yes I traveled a lot the year of 09, but when Jan hit and I got the dream from my niece that I had 2 protect her.... I buckled up real fast n stepped 2 the plate. See while I was praying for a best friend, my brother musta been praying 4 me, he did the best thing in the world n hide my key. I guess in a sense my brother n best friend got 2gether and agreed, if I saved mom they in return would save me. So I found out the truth about my whole family, kept telling my mom please accept the fact ur kids r grown. Trust us please, we need you back with us.... man the shit we'd argue about and the shit we went thru. I ain't gonna lie I think a couple times I asked to die. I hated my life because I was not living my life, I had to stop my world 2 comfort my mom. This dude did things to her and took away her balls, I mean she really felt like ending it all. I went thru my share with everybody my so called friends, family and strangers. I couldn't even try 2 explain my story. March of 2010 I had it out with gramma Mary. My uncle finally helped save me, took me in and put me back on my feet. That's when I heard the horror stories of how him n my mom were treated.... gramma's n grandpa's really I can't believe what I heard. SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!!!! Really shame on you....
I went threw an experience at the place I was working at that made me never step foot in there again. Thank you GOD 4 being the only 1 there that night, thank you 4 showing me how much you cared. I was forced 2 go live with my mom n her boyfriend, well that's when I got more "food" 4 my soul. I learned the colors, read the numbers, even went threw things that were simply amazing, but once again I never left my mother. I didn't know how bad or far she was gone, trust me that took a long time to figure out. All I know was my bff's n brother had my back. See she thinks 2 this day I'm lost and ask where's her Angel at.... damn can you help me answer that????
I love my mom I do, but god I did what you sent me out 2 do. I need a break ,I really do. 2days not about me, so I'm asking please help me. I followed your rules did as you said, but I'm tired of doing 4 her, she's getting needy and I don't have the energy no more. See she gave up on her life, not me lord. She needs an income and a home, would be nice if she had a room for her grand-daughter. She needs a car 2 get from point A 2 B, yes I know she trys 2 live above her means, but lord 4give her, she really does no harm. I need, I mean her grand-daughter needs her 100%, because all the work I just did. Well lord u see she's still not happy. Tired of hearing what she don't have, I'm tired of hearing how she wants 2 rewind time.... Well lord I already did mine and I'm ready 2 move on with mine. Since she don't understand love or all it brings, me n her son r crazy because were living our dreams. She still wants us 2 herself because she feels as though she'll be by herself, but lord she has a grand-daughter now, make her understand her kids moved on. I want her smile back, I want my mom back, I want her grand-daughter 2 grow up with the love my brother and I had. Yes I know more then 1 person tried 2 put evil between me n my brother, but that bitch is in her place now ,and I will not let her corrupt my niece. Ur Angel is back, thank god for that, but lord please, please, please, can you help me with mom. I have her where you need her, but I need you, If brother gets a house make sure mom can go. Provide this year because me running away is a way I go n hide, ur lil angel is getting drained n I know u don't want me 2 go on vaca.... don't worry wont say no names but I got ur message more than 1 way. Gramma's, Grandpa's, if u all are listening, the 1 thing u could do 2 mend ur wrongs is help my mom out, she's 2 burnt out. All I ask is for her smile back, I want her happy again. You can take all my blessings, I want my mom back again.
You granted my wish once can you do it again, promise I'll do what ever you want. I just want to see the smile from my moms mouth again. Please lord ,can you help let my mom have the best 47th year of her life, please, pretty please. I love you and thank you.
Angel